Testing Depression:
A journey through severe depression, hospitalization, and medication.

 

If this is your first time here, you might want to read in reverse order, from the beginning. "Testing Depression" is my true story about being hospitalized for depression.

A quick summary up to this point:

I arrived at the hospital in a police car. I was examined by the entry nurse, and then by a doctor on the unit. I met two nurses, Meg and Dorothy, and two other patients, Charlie and Louisa. I was on fifteen-minute checks. I struggled to remember the causes of my depression. My only medication at this point was Ortho-Tricyclen (birth control pills).

April 8, 2005

Sad Friday

Taking a break from the hospital story…

Last night I was awake early into the morning. I saw the start of the pope’s funeral on television. I am sort of Catholic but go through phases of religion and no religion.

Watching it wasn’t completely a religious experience for me, but I felt very sad, thinking about him. I used to idolize the Pope when I was young. In fact, I wanted to be just like him. I would run around the house with a wet toothbrush or spoon, blessing everything in sight.

I still feel an empty sadness. Please don’t judge me one way or another, or see this as an extension of my depression. The death of someone important to you is sad for anyone.

Filed under: Feelings and Emotions — testing depression @ 11:32 am

4 Comments »

  1. I think that I am made sad by the fact that people seem to be burying a figure-head rather than a person. It’s odd.

    Comment by Ally — April 8, 2005 @ 2:17 pm

  2. Society often forgets that the individuals at the center of the news are human, just like any one of us.

    I think that’s also why there are so many jokes about the pope, Terri Schiavo, Michael Jackson, mental illness, homosexuality, anti-depressants, etc. floating around. People get caught up in thinking about the ideas, and simple human compassion and emotion become forgotten.

    Comment by testing depression — April 8, 2005 @ 5:57 pm

  3. Aurora, thanks for sharing. I have 5 children, one is bipolar and the other has had depression issues for a while. There is hope!

    Comment by athanasios — April 8, 2005 @ 8:42 pm

  4. There is definitely hope, athanasios! I am doing much better now than I was a few years ago. I still struggle but it’s not so bad now. I’ve learned (and am still learning, of course) so much about myself.

    Comment by testing depression — April 8, 2005 @ 11:21 pm

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