Testing Depression:
A journey through severe depression, hospitalization, and medication.
 

If this is your first time here, you might want to read in reverse order, from the beginning. "Testing Depression" is my true story about being hospitalized for depression.

A quick summary up to this point:

I arrived at the hospital in a police car. I was examined by the entry nurse, and then by a doctor on the unit. I met two nurses, Meg and Dorothy, and two other patients, Charlie and Louisa. I was on fifteen-minute checks. I struggled to remember the causes of my depression. My only medication at this point was Ortho-Tricyclen (birth control pills).

April 22, 2005

Stage Fright and Temporary Memory Loss

“You are here because you are depressed. Is that correct?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said quietly.

“Would you like to tell me what is causing your depression?”

I nodded my head, slowly and uneasily. “Everything. Every part of my life has fallen apart.” I paused for a moment, unable to figure out where to begin with my story.

“Go on,” he pressured.

I nervously looked at him. My thoughts froze, leaving me with nothing to say. It was the opposite of “seeing your life flash before your eyes”; during that long moment, I could not remember a single detail about my life.

Not knowing what else to say or do, I looked down and waited for him to say the next words in the conversation. I wanted it to be his turn to talk. I hoped that he would forget his question and move on to another one.

Filed under: The Hospital, Therapy — testing depression @ 12:07 am

2 Comments »

  1. That’s the hardest part, isn’t it? There is so much, then for some reason you have no idea what it was.

    Comment by RisibleGirl — April 22, 2005 @ 11:48 am

  2. It was so confusing and scary to not be able to remember. I felt so embarrassed and hollow at the time, as if I was making everything up even though I knew it was more complicated than that.

    Comment by testing depression — April 25, 2005 @ 2:15 am

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