Testing Depression:
A journey through severe depression, hospitalization, and medication.

 

If this is your first time here, you might want to read in reverse order, from the beginning. "Testing Depression" is my true story about being hospitalized for depression.

A quick summary up to this point:

I arrived at the hospital in a police car. I was examined by the entry nurse, and then by a doctor on the unit. I met two nurses, Meg and Dorothy, and two other patients, Charlie and Louisa. I was on fifteen-minute checks. I struggled to remember the causes of my depression. My only medication at this point was Ortho-Tricyclen (birth control pills).

August 12, 2005

My Turn, But I Can’t Think of What To Say

Group therapy continued around the room. When it was my turn, I gave my name and said that I had no diagnosis as of yet. I also told the group that I had nothing to say, because I felt awful and just didn’t feel like talking.

Sheila and the patients in the group pressured me to say a little more. I felt annoyed by the pressure. I tried to think of something to share with the group, but all of my thoughts were antagonistic, too painful to face, or simply too incomplete in my mind.

To relieve the pressure, I insisted that I really could not think of anything to say. I felt like I was lying, although it wasn’t really a lie.

Sheila offered to go around the rest of the room and come back to me at the end. I agreed.

Filed under: The Hospital — testing depression @ 11:03 pm

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